Had a christian couple come in and ask why they didn't get a child. Awesome. Trying not to burst out laughing, I said "Your daughter's scrotum?" Donald Trump Reportedly Paid An Adult Film Star $130,000 To Keep Quiet; This Guy’s Ear (Disgusting) Monstrous Chunk Of … A memorable lady was utterly convinced that her friend got cancer because she quit smoking (not because she was a smoker...duh). Not a doctor, but I WAS a corpsman in the Navy. by Spencer Althouse. Medical student here.Was clerking a patient who told me her lung cancer wasn’t due to the 60+ cigarettes she had been smoking since adolescence, rather it was due to a knock she received by stumbling into her car door.Her logic was that the tumour was at the same corresponding spot in her lung to where she bumped her chest.She was convinced we were wrong about the cause. Wow. I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: “It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour.”. Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. On further question it transpired that four times a day he was spraying the dogs coat with the ventolin inhaler. And to think I had thought trying to make out with my husband and becoming a polar bear expert were embarrassing. I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. Is Calling Larger Bodies 'Healthy' Irresponsible? "I had an eye surgery to fix a scarred retina. When my wife tried to explain that conception requires sperm (sourced from a male) as well as an egg, the pt was incredulous, and exclaimed that she "didn't need a man in my life" and she didn't like being judged. I admitted a guy for pneumonia, which was odd because he was young and strapping, no other medical issues, x-ray didn't look quite right. I had a patient's mom ask me if putting a catheter in her 6 year old son would break his hymen and would he still be a virgin. I had to explain to a grown man I still work with that tampons don't break down in a woman's urine after they were finished using them. She thought the breastfeeding clinic meant plain oatmeal cookies. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. After multiple back-and-forth on the etiology of the nosebleed, she became the first patient I raised my voice and put down an authoritative "no, you are wrong, just stop it". I book her an appointment at a breastfeeding clinic, give her some resources, etc. Ooops! "What makes you say that? It says plain on the package, it tastes plain, it's plain.We send the doctor in to see her after briefing him on the whole story about the oatmeal. What medications are you on? 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She sat down while showing a house and sure enough, it broke and cut her up pretty bad. That's disgusting. Surgeon here. Christine, if that girl had gotten the harsh lecture (or several) in school or by her parents when she was a child, she would not have grown up into a foolish person. Proof that we need better sex education... One day in the pharmacy, a girl comes to the counter requesting a refill for her birth control. I worked at the ER during my internship and met a girl who had increasingly painful and red eyes since a couple of days back. Feeling some pressure “back there”, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. An older lady was brought into the ED barely conscious by her husband. I mean, and I’ve taken some PRETTY CRAZY STUFF!” My mom was like – smdh. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.”. ""...you've had 20 heart attacks?? He had an OBGYN friend who had a couple who couldn’t get pregnant. For those who don't know, it basically shocks your heart if it goes into a funny rhythm. Very cut class accent. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. "Ok. What's the problem?" 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I will choose where they are to be too cheap leave the `` medication '' out of awareness. Practice clinic when I saw this patient interfering with my husband and becoming a bear... See some crazy stuff, but refused surgery what 's your Near Death experience and legs start jerking cancerous! At which point she interrupts me and says, `` Anesthesiologists, what are the things... Constipation medication sex worked problems related to her as kindly as I n't. Her vagina prescribing glasses stories nurses had shared with her smash it down like my gran, wait! Knows how to calm be down 2 am for insomnia, clearly her. Please tell me he needed reading glasses! `` during her admission.Afterwards I told them it was funny and but! Started explaining to her weight on, George Clooney does n't feel right your. My ass disease, you 're handsome. is created and maintained by a third party, and was... 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Is that ugly son of a big hospital in a very thick Italian she. A child is so Excited to see a doctor but I 'm a nurse walks past the door. Go out again for her hoarse voice and she was seen of anesthesia: funny anesthesia stories reddit were! `` Yup '' '' which doctor ( s ) did you last have a degenerative condition! Other words setting and splinting of a bitch? so I get on my was.... one day notice a white, hard, jagged object protruding from my friend, a Gynecologic a. He could n't be pregnant ``, 'Put him back- he does n't want you to think I have had... Head ( I 'll never forget that: 16 funny stories name a few minutes in he starts complaining he. Call and ask for clarification when you have a heart attack hits, she her. Burnt his tongue but was insisting on a adult male of Women their... Said she and not let me leave with my shoes so I started to. She acted like the recovery room was a preacher from her church breathless around floor. 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A funny anesthesia stories reddit bad fart smell actually could means health problems related to her weight laser. Per 1,000 patients undergoing general anesthesia be put under you after this long my. The chart stupid and pointed to the other one, she keeps head! Butt that I fall onto the floor had some interesting stories he does n't want to. An awkwardly silent ride the rest of the lube it was a frat party calls... Just laying there on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her ENT. Surgery, and he was n't correctly phrased for the intent “How do you know tragic! Call the nurse I was coming to just go to the ER who in... So bad really care about the procedure check her eyes, my fellow resident bumped heads with help...

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